Monday, October 06, 2003
A dogging shadow followed near
just out of vision's range;
invoking doubts and inner fear,
anomalously strange.
Unearthly sounds and biting air
still deepening the sense
that someone-or-something-was there;
the heart grew ever tense...
A touch was felt, with willful force
by something from behind.
Was this thing of an evil source,
or spectre of the mind?
A plaguing question still remains
about the stalking ghost;
Did it descend from higher planes
or was my fear its host?
Posted at 07:37 pm by GothicTears
Why in the midst of noise
do i walk in silence?
Why in the midst of laughter
Does my heart feel sad?
And why, in the midst of a crowd
Do I always feel so alone?
My body and soul constantly struggling
With one another!
Only my spirit is at peace
For it rests in my Lord.
Patiently my spirit awaits
The time when
My body and my mind
Become one
And the endless
Struggle
Is finally done.
And peace will come!
Posted at 07:31 pm by GothicTears
Sunday, October 05, 2003
you encourage me,
to be me.
lovingly,
you inspire me.
you came and set me free,
from all my misery.
my life I owe to you.
my heart flows for you.
i’m so much more to you,
and you’re everything to me.
an angel is what you are.
my best friend by far.
so full is my heart.
my world is complete.
with you there’s no need to act.
i love you and that’s a fact.
you make my life easy.
you’re everything to me.
you’re the only one i see.
my world-- incomplete,
if you weren’t here with me..
Posted at 05:56 am by GothicTears
here i wait
as time elapses,
endless seconds reaching for the minutes
minutes reaching for the hours.
this foe of mine
that taunts with a tick and a tock.
and here,
this dream that visits me
awake and asleep
of your face before me,
your words echoing in my mind.
is it memory or fantasy
that has me here
aching at best,
longing for but a glimpse
as eternity seems to stretch out
vast and empty without you.
and still i wait,
i always will.
Posted at 05:55 am by GothicTears
I don’t know what to say
Or even where to start
But I never would have guessed
It’d be you to break my heart
You can just walk away
But I don’t feel the same
My love for you was true
And to you it was all a game
I wish there were a way
I could go back in time
To hold you in my arms
As if you were still mine
Please someone tell me when
This pain will go away
When I’ll forget the past
And move on to another day
A day where just for once
You face won’t cross my mind
I won’t think of our memories
Ill just leave them all behind
I won’t think of our good nights
Or the way you made me feel
I’ll move on to someone new
Someone whose love is real
I won’t miss your arms around me
Holding me so tight
I won’t long to feel your body
Pressed against mine through the night
The memory of your kiss
Will finally disappear
And never again for you
Shall I shed another tear
I say all this right now
Wishing it would be true
But I know tonight, Ill go to bed,
Crying over you
Posted at 05:55 am by GothicTears
that is my dream woman grrowlll lol is it good ?? ? ?
Posted at 03:14 am by GothicTears
Posted at 03:10 am by GothicTears
Go ahead and take this blade away
I’ve got more at home I don’t care
But don’t use this “heroism” as justification
For all those times you werent there
It will stop me for the moment
It’ll save a few lines of skin
But it will not rescue me inside
It cannot cure the disease within
It doesn’t make up for the slashes
I made when you left me alone
It wont put back the blood that dripped
As I waited by the phone
It doesn’t calm the hurt inside
Or minimize the hate
It amplifies the cravings
To test the limits of fate
It makes me want to watch you hurt
As I plunge a knife into my chest
Knowing that you pushed me this far
It’s like manslaughter at best
You knew what you were doing to me
Waiting until it was too late then looking away
You knew that it was killing me and you watched me die
Now this is the price you have to pay
As I lay here dying in a pool of blood
I think about your reaction and laugh
I hope you live forever, your heart heavy with guilt
At this I slip away, my life becoming the past
Posted at 02:54 am by GothicTears
So I cut. I'm not here to try and get sympathy from people. I'm not here to justify myself to anyone. I'm not even here to try and make people understand. I'm writing this because it's easier to tell a hundred strangers about me than it is to tell my friends or family, and I can pretend at least for a while, that I'm confiding in myself.
Posted at 02:54 am by GothicTears
Saturday, October 04, 2003
Posted at 01:56 pm by GothicTears
have chased the shadows 
